Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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