The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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