# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
