break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
