i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
