You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
