all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
