You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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