AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
