Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
