Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I know her cup size but not her name....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
