Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
