1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
