so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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