I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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