My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
