did you get engaged???
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
