i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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