Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.

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(256): View more from Alabama

just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level

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(970): View more from Colorado

I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.

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(775): View more from Nevada

It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.

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(980): View more from North Carolina

Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?

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(914): View more from New York

So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms

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(650): View more from California

We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.

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(661): View more from California

Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.

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