I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
