guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
