You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Sorry about my life...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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