WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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