I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
