I love black thongs
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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