I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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