took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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