hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
we made out on top of his cat.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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