the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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