Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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