Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
