i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
