Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
