is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
