I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
