He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
