dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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