Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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