Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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