It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
