brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She is in my trunk
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
