weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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