i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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