This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
