eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
