That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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