He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
