just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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