it was like his penis was on wheels.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
