We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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